Coconut Crème Cake….because life is too damn short

Anybody that knows me knows that I’m not a baker at heart. I’ve got friends that make the cutesy Pinterest-worthy cupcakes that would make you barf from all the glittery fabulousness sprinkled all over that shit. Not this girl. Nope. I bake this cake for my Uncle Pie because it’s the only cake he likes, and he LOVES mine. This is a recipe for a cake made from scratch. Let me find out you tried to use a box mix for this……  But seriously, if I had the time, I would make the cakes and y’all could just come pick ’em up because cooking is my only true “Me” time, but alas, there are bills to pay, a job at which to show up, and a daughter to raise (not in that order.)  It’s not that difficult. If I can do it, you can too!  A word about buttermilk. I hate buying a whole damn quart of buttermilk when I only need a cup or two at most for any recipes. It’s simple to make your own: For every cup of buttermilk needed, add a tablespoon of white vinegar to a cup of whole milk and let it sit at room temperature for about 10 or 15 minutes. Give it a good stir before you use it. That’s it. I’m sure Borden ain’t THAT hard up for your money to have to buy a whole quart when all you need is a cup.

2 3/4 cups all purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 3/4 cups sugar

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature (and don’t get me started on the importance of using BUTTER, not margarine or oleo. I ain’t got the strength tonight…)

1 cup canned sweetened cream of coconut (you can find this in the mixer/liquor section at Walmart or Albertson’s. I use the Coco Lopez brand.)

4 large eggs, separated

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup buttermilk (make your own–see above)

Pinch of salt

Cream Cheese Frosting (3 cans)

4 cups sweetened shredded coconut

Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter and flour (or use shortening instead of butter) two 9-inch-diameter cake pans with 2-inch-high sides. Whisk flour, baking powder, baking soda and 1/2 teaspoon salt in medium bowl to blend. Using electric mixer, beat sugar, butter and sweetened cream of coconut in large bowl until fluffy. Beat in egg yolks and vanilla extract. On low speed, beat in dry ingredients and then buttermilk, each just until blended.

Using clean dry beaters, beat egg whites with pinch of salt in another large bowl until stiff but not dry. Fold beaten egg whites into batter. And when I say fold, I mean fold it into the batter by hand. Don’t you dare just dump it into the bowl of batter and use the electric mixer, because that just tells me that you just ain’t got what it takes for this cake. If that’s what you’re gonna do, dump the whole bowl into the trash and go sit in the corner.

Divide cake batter between prepared pans. Bake cakes until tester inserted into center comes out clean, about 40-45 minutes. Cool cakes in pans on rack 10 minutes. Run small sharp knife around pan sides to loosen cakes. Turn cakes out onto racks and cool completely (at least an hour—frosting sliding down the sides of a still-warm cake is an ugly thing).

Place one cake layer on cake plate. Don’t worry about making a “crumb coat.” Any imperfections/cake crumbs/gremilles in the frosting will be hidden by the shredded coconut, and you don’t work at Guidry’s Cake Shop in New Iberia, do ya?   Spread almost one can of  cream cheese frosting over cake layer. Sprinkle 1 cup sweetened shredded coconut over. Top with second cake layer. Spread remaining frosting over top and sides of cake. Sprinkle remaining coconut over cake, gently pressing into sides to adhere.  If desired, add a cherry or cherries on top.

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